Best Laid Out Plans
“I love the idea of being organized. It’s the execution that ruins it.” -Unknown
“I am going to stop putting things off, starting tomorrow.” -Sam Levenson
“There is nothing so pitiful as a young man who has a great deal of promise but no follow-through.” -Charles Schulz (fellow Minnesotan!!)
One of my many character flaws is follow through. This especially true when it’s just me, depending on the follow through. If someone else is expecting something from me, I will tend to get it back to them right away or as soon as I can, because I hate the idea of others waiting on me. It literally gives me anxiety. As for myself, I can wait on myself for days and days telling myself one of the following…
“Someday I will do xyx.”
“Maybe tomorrow I will go to Costco…” knowing full well that I probably will not go to Costco tomorrow.
“Today was a bust but tomorrow will be better.”
Why do I do this to myself? Is it because of my lack of attention span? The lack of instant gratification? My procrastination? Or the reality, I know deep down that it will take more effort than I’m willing to expel on the thing and in response I’ve created huge barriers that don’t exist.
Obviously, it’s the latter. I’m not only great with coming up with ideas but I’m also great with overthinking. Hence the challenge.
Recently, this attitude showed up with my 100-day challenge. I’m on day 15 and I have missed 8 days. Not a great percentage if you ask me, however I am learning grace over shame is much healthier and better approach to the process.
At the beginning of this challenge, I prepared for when I may have writers block and created theme days for each day of the week. While this was a great idea in theory, I unfortunately took it too literally in the first couple of weeks of the challenge. Instead of posting the creative projects I’ve been crafting in the background, I felt blocked and therefore decided to not post. This attitude followed me for the next several days.
Why did I feel like I had to fit my creativity into the arbitrary box that I’m pretty sure no one cares about? Am I doing this for others or am I doing this for me? If I’m doing this challenge for others, it won’t be successful or sustainable. I need to remind myself that the goal is not to go viral or to become “something”. The overall goal is to break free from my crippling sense of perfectionism.
I can post the good, the bad, and the ugly. It’s all okay because at the end of the day it’s just a post. It’s not that deep and doesn’t need to be analyzed to death. I just need to show up.
Listening to a message this morning, showing up and doing the small things (as in posting whatever I want for the next 100-days) was exactly what I needed to hear.
We often ask God one if not many of the following questions:
“Where should I go to school/major in?”
“Who do you want me to date/marry?”
“Where should I live?”
“What job should I have?”
“God, JUST TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT TO DO WITH MY LIFE!! PLEASE, I’M BEGGING YOU TO TELL ME!!” (Anyone else yell that into the void? No, just me? Okay then…)
The reality is, He hears these questions and He provides us with the answers, but they may not arrive how we think they will. We probably won’t get a burning bush or an angel coming down to greet us with directions. It’s disappointing, I know, but another way that we can hear God’s voice is by doing the small things today.
By showing God we can handle the small things of today, He has confidence in providing us with bigger things of tomorrow.
With day 15 of the 100-day challenge, I am starting anew. I am going to do the small thing of showing up for myself today by keeping my posting schedule to show Him that I am capable of follow through.
“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” Matthew 6:34
